Monday, September 17, 2007

Weighty matters

Here is my latest column. Enjoy!

Fellow Tennesseans, we are FAT. Fatty, fat, fat. According to recent news reports, we are tied for fifth with South Carolina in state-by-state rankings of obesity among the nation’s population, with an obesity rate of 27.8.

But Mississippians are fatter, if it’s any consolation – they are ranked first, with a whopping rate of 30.6. Also high up there in the rankings are West Virginia, Alabama, and Louisiana.

These are all Southern states. Hmmm. Maybe it’s the barbecue, or the daily biscuits and gravy, or all the chicken-fried steak, or the fried pies.

The best ranked state, by the way is Colorado. Let’s all move there so we can get them into the top five fatties.

What a dubious distinction to be thus branded.

Well, for east Tennessee’s contribution, we need to find a scapegoat. How about Sonny’s? Or maybe Calhoun’s? Or my favorite, the Cracker Barrel? It’s rumored that their mammoth breakfasts go right to the spare tire in our bellies.

Or maybe, just maybe, it’s all those fast-food places that we can’t seem to pass up on Cedar Bluff Road or the Pike.

I’m just as guilty as the next guy. While I don’t see myself as obese – and my doctor reluctantly agrees – I have one of those pot bellies that pushes me right into the XL rack at clothing stores. The WW (my wonderful wife) always has to take my pants for tailoring because they are way too long for the waist I sport. See, this is how it goes: The anorexic designers who produce men’s clothing expect your weight to be proportionate to your size. It seems they’ve never walked around Turkey Creek and seen just who wears their clothing.

We have to get this under control. Say it with me: Let’s eat healthy.

Of course, we know that healthy eating starts with healthy cooking.

According to the website www.webmd.com, there are lots of different diet plans for people with special needs as well as for people who just love eating.

But there are certain basic principles to eating well:

-- Be sure to eat a wide variety of foods. Having a colorful plate is the best way to ensure that you are eating plenty of fruits, vegetables, meats, and other forms of protein such as nuts, dairy products, and grains/cereals.

-- Eat the right amount of calories to maintain a healthy weight.

-- Choose foods high in fiber such as whole grain breads, fruit, and cereal. They contain important vitamins and minerals. You need 25 to 35 grams of fiber per day.

WebMD has a lot more information about healthy eating, including diets for people who have illnesses, like diabetes, that require special attention to what you eat. The American Heart Association also has good, healthy-eating diets that all of us can use.

Well, we don’t want to be known in Tennessee for our weight problem.
All this talk about food has made me hungry. I’m passing on the Ben & Jerrry’s, though, and going straight for a big, red juicy apple.

Joe Calderon is no health nut, but he’s at least trying to keep his girth under control. Email Calderon at cheo742@aol.com, or e-mail his thin and fit editor, Nick Frantz, at frantzn@ShopperNewsNow.com.

Monday, September 10, 2007

See it or DVR it

Let's not forget today is the day the U.S. Congress meets and greets Petraeus and Crocker. Should be very interesting if the lawmakers get right down to it and start asking the tough questions. Whkat needs to happen is that the general must be put in a corner where he must either lie and face the moral consequences, dodge and weave questions in which case the debate and divisiveness of the issue will be prolonged, or come clean and part ways with his Boss, in which case he'll likely be out of a job.

Also to be watched: County commissioners in Knox County must take up proposal for restructuring county government, even as they have their first day in a county courtroom in which the News Sentinel is suing them for breaches to the Sunshine Law. Remember, commissioners, the public is watching. If you escape this one, the voters will remember. There are enough of us out there who'll make sure they do. The concerned citizens of this county will not rest until you guys slither out of County Hall, and hopefully take the Ragsdale gang with you.

Monday, September 3, 2007

my weekly column

I write a weekly column for the WS Shopper News, which is distributed in the News Sentinel every Monday. I thought I'd put my column here as well and you can read it or skip it. You may actually find it fun. So here goes:

t’s a camera, but you don’t have to smile

By Joe Calderon

Just recently I joined an exclusive club. Its roster of members includes such notables as Katie Couric and President Bush.

Early in the morning the day of my picture session, I drove to one of those two big brick buildings at the far end of Turkey Creek to have my picture taken. Couric had it done on TV, incredibly

It wasn’t exactly a Kodak moment. I was there for a colonoscopy, something I’d dodged for about 12 years by bullying my doctors when they warned it was the smart thing to do.

It took moving to Tennessee to come up against a doctor who wasn’t going to be bullied. Well, that and the fact that just before I left California for the Volunteer State, I learned one of my colleagues, a relatively young guy with two kids, had developed colon cancer that had spread to his liver.

The last time I saw him, this health nut who used to bicycle the levees around our town every day had lost more than 40 pounds and had surrendered a nice head of hair to chemo treatments.

So this time, when the doctor lectured, I listened.

Now, let me tell you about colonoscopies. They’re not so bad. You lie on a table and they knock you out and the next thing you know you wake up and they’re all smiling at you and telling you to go home. Easy.

The preparation for the colonoscopy is another thing altogether. It starts three days before the procedure with a three-capsule dose of a strong laxative before bedtime. The next day you embark on what they call a low-residue diet. Not bad so far.

That night you take another three laxative capsules. The fun actually begins the next day, when you embark on a clear-liquids diet. By about 3 p.m., when the legs of chairs begin to look tasty, you are required to drink an entire bottle of something vile called Magnesium Citrate, mixed with Sprite. Mixing it with soda supposedly makes it tastier, but all it does is extend the agony of drinking it.. By 6 p.m. you’re mixing and downing a generous dose of some foul chemical powder called Glycolax mixed with a 32-ounce bottle of a power drink. Three hours later, you drink another 10-ounce bottle of Magnesium Citrate and Sprite. And just in case you’re not totally wiped out, you take another three laxative capsules.

Now you’re ready for a colonoscopy.

But you know what? It’s worth it – the whole thing – for the peace of mind it brings.

There are lots of things I like about Knox County, but one of the best is the availability and choices we have in health care. You appreciate that stuff when you’ve just come from a town where there is only one hospital whose emergency room is the butt of jokes and the osteopaths outnumber the MD’s because doctors just don’t want to live there.

Here, you begin to appreciate that there are many hospitals, many of them with stellar reputations, just a short drive away. And that there are caring doctors, both general practitioners and specialists, to keep you in good health. That’s something to smile about.


Joe Calderon is a retired editor from California who has survived quadruple bypass surgery, gall bladder surgery, cataract surgery and retinal laser treatments, and keeps going back for more. Email Calderon at cjoe357@gmail.com